


What Reimu Hakurei Wonders About

by finitexs



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Gen, Lots of dialogue, Slice of Life, canon is the clay i mold into my headcanons, fic gets updated whenever god wills it, headcanon heavy, it has no power here, rated T for language and DIRTY jokes, tags will be added as the fic gets updated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21668500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finitexs/pseuds/finitexs
Summary: Reimu sees many visitors at her shrine. Eventually, she can't help but begin to wonder about them.A fic in which Reimu talks to people who visit her shrine.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	1. Remilia and Sakuya

**Author's Note:**

> this is a very simple fanfic about reimu and her talking to people. not much else to say besides that. 
> 
> do note that this fic is very heavy on headcanon and other random theories and such that i've seen floating around, maybe in a way that will contradict canon, so keep that in mind as you read.
> 
> feedback and comments are always appreciated.
> 
> also, this is my first fic on ao3, so do tell if you notice any formatting mistakes or anything like that. or errors in general.

It was a normal spring day for Reimu. Lily White had passed by the shrine a few days ago, announcing the arrival of spring and causing flowers to bloom in her wake. The first thing Reimu did when she heard Lily White was rush outside with a cup of tea in hand. After all, she had to laze around as much as she could before the next incident happened.

The past few days were, luckily, peaceful and quiet, just as she had wanted. A bit boring too, but the one thing Reimu had learned from years upon years of solving incidents was that something out of her control would eventually come to her and make things more lively, whether she liked it or not.

"Reimu! I'm here! Prepare your best tea, please." Speak of the devil, and she will appear. Literally in this case.

Reimu sighed and prepared herself for the headache known as Remilia Scarlet. If Reimu had to be honest, Remilia wasn't that bad. It was just that she always acted so. Extra. Having a conversation with Remilia was a skill that had to be learned, a skill that she still wasn't used to, even after having known her for so long. 

"Good morning, Reimu. I hope you don't mind our sudden appearance," Sakuya said with a smile.

And of course, wherever Remilia was, Sakuya was also. Sakuya was easier to deal with than Remilia, not that that was saying much, but Reimu had always thought that there was something mysterious about her. Her smile, while polite, always looked like it was hiding something. Maybe not something malicious, but hiding something regardless. 

"The day people actually give me a heads up instead of coming here unannounced is the day Suika stops drinking," Reimu sighed, "and I've made one kettle of tea. I'm not gonna make anymore, so I hope you like it."

Remilia let out a melodramatic sigh. "To be treated so harshly by Reimu, it hurts my soul." She snapped her fingers, and Sakuya appeared by her side with a bottle of wine and a bundle of money. "To think I had even prepared a donation and a gift just for you."

Reimu had a very quick change of heart. "Y'know what, I think I can make a bit more tea. Try not to break anything while I'm making it," Reimu said while getting up to make some more tea.

After having brewed some more tea, Reimu sat down and got comfortable again, Remilia's offerings stored safely in the shrine. Reimu wasn't destitute by any means, but it was always good to have extra money and supplies just in case something happened. Like, as a completely hypothetical situation, if a mysterious red mist appeared and covered up the sun. Completely hypothetical, of course.

There were a few moments of silence as the three of them enjoyed the tea. Silence broken too quickly for Reimu's taste. "This tea, while not horrible, is nothing compared to Sakuya's," Remilia said haughtily, "but that's expected. It's Sakuya, after all."

"You flatter me, milady," Sakuya said with a smile and a slight bow.

Reimu rolled her eyes and said nothing. She knew that Remilia meant it as a compliment to her, as backhanded as it sounded. Remilia wasn't the type to directly compliment others. 

"I'm sure you're wondering why I've decided to grace you with my presence today, Reimu?" Remilia asked.

"Not really," Reimu said, "but you're probably gonna tell me anyway."

Remilia beamed. "Of course I will! My glorious abode, as expansive and entertaining as it is, can only keep me occupied for so long. I came here to seek your company in an attempt to stave away the beasts of tedium from my mind."

"So you're just bored."

"Indeed!"

Reimu stared at her. "You could've just said that in the first place."

"Where would the fun in that be?" Remilia asked with a grin. Reimu responded with a sigh. She really should've been used to Remilia's behavior by now. 

The three went back to sipping their tea in silence, enjoying the view and watching the occasional fairy fly by. Reimu glanced at Sakuya. There was something Reimu had been wondering about for a while.

"Sakuya, I've been wondering," Reimu said.

"What is it?" Sakuya asked, turning to look at Reimu.

"How did you and her," Reimu said with a nod to Remilia, "meet up? I'm sure there's some story behind you two."

Sakuya and Remilia looked at each other with the briefest of smiles before Sakuya asked, "Are you familiar with the old tales of vampires and vampire hunters?"

Reimu shook her head. She had a feeling where this was going.

"It may surprise you, but I was once a famous vampire hunter. They even had a name for me. Quicksilver," she said with a slightly nostalgic smile on her face. "They called me that because of the color of my hair and because of how quickly I moved, seemingly teleporting from place to place. They never did realize that I could stop time. One day, I had received a job to hunt down two dangerous vampires, vampires known as the Scarlet Devils. Milady, would you like to tell the story from here?"

Remilia set her tea down and stood up with a grand flourish. "It'd be best if I told this part, I agree. Flandre and I were going about our daily routine when Sakuya oh so rudely entered my abode without even as much as a knock. She interrupted my tea time, a very horrible crime against all vampirekind. One does not simply interrupt a vampire's tea. I was not shaken, however. I was used to attempts on my life. I even politely asked for her name—"

"Milady, you said, 'Who the hell are you?'"

"—and didn't attack her immediately. She said, 'My name doesn't matter, for you're about to die.'" Remilia made her voice deeper in an attempt to impersonate Sakuya's voice. "She didn't even let me introduce myself before attacking. Very rude of her. Flandre was in her room while this was happening, so she didn't see the magnificent duel that took place between Sakuya and I."

"Milady, it lasted for about all of ten seconds."

Remilia scoffed. "Details. But what Sakuya said is correct. She was skilled, but she was no match for a vampire of my caliber, a vampire worthy of the title of the Scarlet Devil. I had her pinned against the floor and at my complete mercy. What she didn't realize is that I had used my omnipotent powers of manipulating fate to have her come to me on that night. I was growing bored and wanted something to entertain me. She wasn't as entertaining as I thought, unfortunately."

Remilia paused her storytelling to look at Reimu. "Are you not completely riveted by my tale? You look rather bored."

"I mean, it's a good story and all, but I'm not believing it," Reimu said with a shrug. "Something's telling me that it's made up."

Remilia gasped and indignantly said, "You would call me, the noblest of vampires, Remilia Scarlet, a liar?"

"Yup."

Remilia glared at her for a few seconds before sitting down and sighing. "You're correct. The tale was completely fabricated in the case that someone were to ever ask about Sakuya's origins."

"I told you, milady," Sakuya said with a chuckle. "Reimu's intuition is too good to fall for such things. But would you like to know the truth, Reimu? Not even milady knows about my origins."

This got both Reimu and Remilia's attention. "Yes, do tell, Sakuya," Remilia said. "You don't often talk about yourself."

Reimu nodded in agreement. "If you're telling the truth, then I'd like to know."

"I swear on my favorite knife that I'm telling the truth," Sakuya said, smiling.

"Good enough," Reimu said. Even if Sakuya wasn't telling the truth, it'd probably still be entertaining to hear what she had to say.

Sakuya cleared her throat and took a long sip of tea. Remilia was impatiently tapping her foot against the ground while waiting for her to talk. Sakuya opened her mouth as if to talk, then decided against it and took another sip of tea, obviously stalling on purpose.

"Sakuya, if you take one more sip of tea, I'm going to rip that cup out of your hands."

"Milady, I must apologize if I made you wait," Sakuya said, not even trying to hide her smile. "I would never make you wait. My honor as a maid wouldn't allow for th—"

"GET ON WITH IT!"

"Of course, milady." Sakuya set down her cup of tea and directly looked at Reimu and Remilia. "I... am a Lunarian." And with that, she picked up her tea and went back to drinking it. 

When it was obvious that Sakuya wasn't going to say more, Reimu asked, "That's it? You're not gonna say anything else?"

"I believe I made myself quite clear."

Remilia, who was sitting there in stunned silence the entire time, burst out, "What do you mean you're a Lunarian? You can't just say that and not explain it!"

Sakuya shrugged. "I came to Earth a couple hundred years ago and wandered around until I stumbled upon your humble abode, milady. I left the moon because it was boring there."

It looked like Remilia wanted to say something, but no words were leaving her mouth. With a conflicted expression, she went back to drinking tea.

"It's not often I see Remilia at a loss of words," Reimu said, impressed. "You're lying though, right?"

Sakuya just responded with a smile.

* * *

"Goodbye, Reimu. Thank you for allowing us to visit," Sakuya said.

"See ya," Reimu responded. She pointed at Remilia. "She gonna be okay?"

Remilia had been silent ever since Sakuya said that she was a Lunarian. Whether she actually believed Sakuya or not, Reimu wasn't sure, but she was definitely deep in thought about it. 

Sakuya shrugged. "Milady is just thinking. She'll be fine, of course." And with that, the two left. 

Reimu stretched her arms above her head. The sun was beginning to set, and she was getting tired. She didn't actually believe what Sakuya had said, knowing her reputation as someone who liked to joke around. Although, Sakuya's jokes were a lot different than what most people thought of as jokes, but they were jokes, regardless. She was more concerned that Remilia would actually believe her.  



	2. Kaguya, Eirin, & Mokou

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mokou and her swearing made me change this fic to rated T. thank you mokou

It was another calm spring day. Reimu was once again seated at the porch of the shrine with a cup of tea in hand, enjoying the peace and quiet. It had been a while since Remilia and Sakuya had visited, and she was starting to get bored again. She figured that that meant something would be happening soon.

Right on cue, Reimu heard the footsteps of people coming up the stairs to the shrine. It definitely wasn't Marisa. She wasn't the type to arrive in such a normal way. She was much more likely to arrive by flying in with that recklessly fast way of hers, probably while launching some star-shaped danmaku just to make sure everyone knew that she arrived. Her flashiness was definitely from her old mentor, wherever she was.

Reimu was pulled out of her thoughts by a short, quiet cough. She realized that now standing in front of her were Kaguya and Eirin, and it looked like they had been watching her be lost in thought for a while now. She nodded at them in greeting and asked, "You two need anything?"

"We simply came here to visit," Kaguya said, her voice gentle and polite as it usually was. 

"Alright," Reimu said while standing up, "I'll get you two some tea."

Kaguya smiled. "Thank you. I'm sure it'll go nicely with the rice cakes we brought."

After Reimu came back with more tea, she joined the two Lunarians in sitting down on the front porch. She really should start making more tea just in case unexpected visitors like these two arrived.

They enjoyed the tea and rice cakes in silence. As much as Reimu didn't like the Lunarians, she appreciated Kaguya and Eirin for how quiet they usually were. A few minutes of silence to them was probably nothing compared to the centuries they lived. 

"Will Reisen be alright running the clinic by herself?" Reimu asked, breaking the silence first.

"She'll be fine," Eirin answered. "She's been under my tutelage for long enough to run the clinic alone for a few hours. Tewi is there too if she needs assistance."

"Tewi?" Reimu said with a frown. "She'd probably get in Reisen's way instead of helping her."

Eirin chuckled, a small smile on her face. "She can be surprisingly useful at times."

Reimu stayed silent. She didn't know much about Tewi besides the fact she liked to pull a lot of pranks, especially to Reisen, so she'd take Eirin's word for it. Although, speaking of Reisen, Reimu was reminded of something she wanted to ask. 

"That reminds me. Eirin, have you ever known a Lunarian that could stop time?"

Eirin gave Reimu a bemused look. "How did that even remind you of that? They're completely unrelated topics."

Reimu shrugged. "Y'know how it is. Sometimes, it just happens."

"I don't know 'how it is', actually, but to answer your question, I haven't. I would've known too if they had an ability as unique as that. Why do you ask?"

"Sakuya came by the other day. She told me and Remilia that she was actually a Lunarian."

Kaguya giggled while Eirin gave Reimu another bemused look. "Please don't tell me you actually believed her."

"'Course not," Reimu said. "I'm offended you'd even think that. Remilia looked like she might've believed it, though."

"That doesn't surprise me in the slightest."

The three went back to enjoying the food in silence. Reimu was now completely certain that Sakuya was joking around, not that she wasn't certain already. She'd have to tell Sakuya the next time she saw her. 

Kaguya paused drinking her tea, the cup frozen right in front of her lips. She squinted her eyes, a concentrated expression on her face. Reimu was about to ask what was wrong when Kaguya grinned and said, "I believe we'll be having someone join us soon."

"KAGUYA!"

A pillar of fire erupted in front of Kaguya, nearly coming in contact with her. The heat was enough to make Reimu shield her face with her arm and turn away. Eirin sighed, having lost track of how many times she'd seen this.

Kaguya just smiled and looked directly at the pillar of fire. "Hello, Mokou. Were you so lonely that you looked for me?"

"Today's the day," Mokou yelled, ignoring Kaguya, "that I take vengeance for what you've done to my family!"

"We're in the presence of good company," Kaguya said while gesturing to Reimu and Eirin. "But..." Her smile turned the slightest bit more threatening. "I can ignore decorum just for you."

"Hey, cut it out," Reimu said while grabbing her purification rod and waving it threateningly. "I might be able to take on both of you, but my shrine can't. Fight somewhere else."

Mokou and Kaguya glared at each other for a few seconds before looking away. "Fine," Mokou growled. "You're lucky I respect you, Hakurei."

"Thanks," Reimu flatly said while handing her a cup of tea. Mokou accepted the tea and sat down next to Kaguya.

Reimu frowned in confusion when she saw her sit next to Kaguya. "Why would you sit next to Kaguya if you hate her?"

"Oh. Well, y'know how it is," Mokou said with a shrug. "It's a bit hard to explain."

"We got time," Reimu said. She took a long sip of tea to show off that she wasn't going to do much besides drink and talk. 

"Yeah, Mokou, why don't you tell her?" Kaguya said with a barely concealed smirk, a hint of provocation in her voice. "You aren't hiding anything, right?"

Mokou gritted her teeth, looking like she wanted incinerate Kaguya on the spot, which she probably did. Eirin looked at Kaguya with disapproval and let out another sigh, but she stayed silent. "This may surprise you, Hakurei," Mokou began, "but I actually don't hate Kaguya. Not that much, at least, even if it doesn't seem like it."

Mokou took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders. She was a bit calmer the next time she spoke. "It took a few centuries of rampaging, a few centuries of thinking about it, and the possibility of her returning to the moon for me to realize."

Staying silent, Reimu looked at Mokou and waited for her to continue.

"The reason why I was so mad at Kaguya in the first place was that she had brought shame to my entire family. My father asked for her hand in marriage, and she gave him five impossible requests to complete before she'd marry him. They weren't actually known to be impossible, but it was pretty damn obvious they were."

Mokou glanced at Kaguya. Despite her earlier attitude, Kaguya had a somber expression. Reimu caught herself staring at the Lunarian princess, enthralled by her beauty. She had to remind herself that Kaguya was _the_ Kaguya and that her beauty had attracted suitors all throughout the entire country. It wasn't surprising that many of the suitors tried taking on her requests, no matter how impossible they were. 

Mokou scoffed, "He was a fucking idiot. He knew they were impossible and tried to do 'em anyway. Worst thing is, Kaguya didn't even wanna get married to anyone. She made the impossible requests so that she wouldn't have to get married. My father knew she didn't wanna get married, but he didn't care. Really was an idiot."

Reimu nodded. Mokou's story made sense to her. "So you don't hate Kaguya anymore?"

"Eh. Not really," Mokou said.

"Then what was with the whole appearing from a pillar of fire and threatening to kill her thing?"

Mokou hesitated. "Well, y'see—"

"She does it to help her 'get in the mood'," Kaguya interrupted with a smirk on her face. "The mood to fight, I mean."

"Do you really need to say it like _that_?" Mokou said while angrily jabbing her with a finger, her face slightly flushed.

Kaguya innocently smiled. "What do you mean 'like _that_ '? Besides, I'm just quoting what you told me that one nigh—"

"FIGHT ME, RIGHT NOW!" 

Reimu groaned. "You two are like children, I swear. You deal with this every day, Eirin?"

Ignoring Mokou's indignant cries of "She started it!", Eirin said, "I used to. Luckily, they only bicker like this about once a week now. They get along quite well most of the time."

"Never would've guessed it from seeing their behavior right now."

"Indeed. Quite surprising."

"I can hear you two talking, y'know!" Mokou yelled. Reimu ignored her and sipped her tea instead. 

Mokou eventually quieted down and went back to drinking her tea, still occasionally grumbling about 'Kaguya and her damn attitude'. The four of them watched as the sun began to dip below the horizon. Reimu never thought she'd watch a sunset with three immortals, yet here she was, doing exactly that. Although, that reminded Reimu of something she wanted to ask.

"Why'd you drink the elixir, Mokou?"

"Hm? Why you asking that?" Mokou said with a frown.

Reimu shrugged. "I was just wondering. Besides, you already told us all this stuff. A bit more can't hurt."

Mokou considered this as she took a long sip of tea. Finally, she agreed, "A little bit more won't hurt. But no laughing. Got it?"

"Have you ever seen me laugh?" Reimu deadpanned.

"...No, but I'm sure you have."

"Literally never. I won't laugh."

"Alright, fine," Mokou said, doubt still lingering on her face. "I'll tell you. Back before I drank the elixir, someone named Iwasaka visited the Fujiwara household. He had a jar of something with him. The only thing I was told was that he was doing a very important task and was resting in our home for one night. I was with some friends while he was visiting. And y'know. We were bored. One thing led to another and..." she trailed off and avoided Reimu's gaze.

Reimu gave her an incredulous look. "You drank the Hourai elixir because you were bored? Did you even realize what you were drinking?"

"They _dared_ me to drink it!" Mokou defensively said while gesticulating wildly. "I couldn't just back down after that!"

Reimu silently stared at her for a few seconds, her already incredulous expression somehow becoming even more incredulous. "You drank it something you didn't even know on a dare."

"Look, I wasn't the smartest person."

"You still aren't," Kaguya remarked. 

Mokou whirled around to face Kaguya, her hair flying around in a whirlwind of white. She slammed her cup of tea down onto the porch and scowled. "I've had enough of your bullshit! No items, Hourai immortals only, Bamboo Forest of the Lost!"

Kaguya gracefully set her cup on the porch and got up. "Very well. I was starting to get bored anyways," she happily said. "Thank you for the tea, Reimu, but I must be off now."

Not wasting any time, they both flew off. Reimu could still hear the two of them trading insults.

"I'll rip out your spine and beat you to death with it, princess!"

"You know what a spine is? I thought that was too big of a word for you to know."

"You—"

The two of them finally got too far away for Reimu to hear. She let out a sigh of relief. The two of them were really starting to annoy her.

"I think they're good for each other, honestly," Eirin said as she finished her cup of tea.

"Why's that?"

"They keep each other company. The stimulation they provide each other with is psychologically beneficial." Eirin sighed. "I suppose I'd be lying too if I said that their antics didn't entertain me every now and then." 

She got up and put down her cup. "Thank you for allowing us to visit. I should go and make sure that they aren't causing too much trouble."

And with that, Reimu was left by herself. She closed her eyes and savored the silence. She was grateful for the company, but she was tired after having to deal with two loud immortals. They were surprisingly childish despite how old they were. Or maybe it was because of their age they were childish. Reimu didn't really care. It was getting late, and she wanted to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always did think mokou was unreasonably mad at kaguya. to my understanding, kaguya made the five impossible requests bc people kept trying to marry her when she didn't wanna get married. i'd be pretty fed up too if people kept bothering me. ofc, people still tried, regardless of how impossible the requests were, but i like to think they acted as a deterrent.
> 
> i also like to think and kaguya and mokou are mostly chill with each other now. maybe they kill each other from time to time just for the hell of it, but besides that, they're fine.
> 
> as usual, kudos and feedback are always appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> the two most popular theories for sakuya that i've seen is that she was either a vampire hunter who decided to work for the scarlets for whatever reason or the very old theory that she's actually a lunarian. i'm not sure if i believe either of them, but they're pretty interesting, regardless.
> 
> also, i think there should be more fics showing off sakuya as a prankster/jokster/troll/whatever you call it. it's a part of her that's very underrated in fanworks imo.
> 
> once again, feedback and comments are always appreciated.


End file.
